The Least The IT Guy Could Do Is Insult Me In Laymen’s Terms.

Though I usually resolve my computer problems with a swift kick and a flip of the on/off button, most people with half a brain know to use the tried and true trifecta control/alt/delete. I’ve seen people break into cold sweats when the simultaneous pushing of the three aforementioned buttons doesn’t work. I can’t blame them; you never want to make a call to the IT guy if you don’t have to.

One would think that the ‘esc’ button would play an integral part in restarting your computer, yet it doesn’t. When I was younger I was convinced that pressing it would create some serious havoc. Sparks would fly, motherboards would fry, and I would undoubtedly be in some serious trouble. I always knew it as the no-no button. The off-limits button. The not-unless-you-fear-the-school-might-blow-up button. I realize that there is of course the possibility that I’ve wrongfully placed the ‘esc’ button on this weird pedestal of destruction. Yet either way, I still think if someone didn’t know any better and knew nothing about computers and only knew that ‘esc’ was short for escape, I’d imagine they would think that was one of the more important buttons on the keyboard.

While we’re on the subject of obsolete keyboard buttons, how about F1-F12? From what I can decipher through thick sarcasm and geek-talk, the IT Guy said you could program these buttons to do any number of things. He added that his seven-year-old autistic nephew had no problem programming his computer. Under my breath I answered, “The poor kid must be just as cool as you.” And besides aren’t those kids supposed to be freakishly good at weird-ass things?