If You’re Looking For A Ride Go To Hunt’s Point Or Coney Island.

It’s never been my choice to stand stationary on an escalator, though occasionally I’ve been forced to. It would be unfair to say that I don’t respect people who don’t walk up escalators, but I certainly don’t have to sit here and say that I respect their shit decision and general lazy demeanor. Listen here folks, if it don’t take a ticket, it aint a fucking ride. Not to mention this might be the only source of exercise these people get, they should be on the hop. I’d much rather increase my heart rate than stand like a drone with my mouth slightly ajar and eyes glazed over.

My real gripe however is when a lazy drone gets in the way of me proceeding up the steps like the go-getter that I am. It’s only then that their fat decision truly affects me. The CPSC (Consumer Product Safety Commission) estimates that there are 6,000 hospital emergency room-treated injuries associated with escalators each year. Keep in mind this figure does not take into account passengers on the escalator that send other passengers to the emergency room. That’s where I come in.