Birthday Wishes Can Wish Others Harm, Right?

I'm not particularly big into my birthday. Sure the presents are nice, but having to watch family and friends awkwardly get through a verse of Happy Birthday isn't worth a button down shirt and an astronaut pen. If anything, it's other people's birthdays that I enjoy. You see, I'm a giver. For instance, I enjoy giving my buddy his seventh birthday shot of tequila full well knowing his limit is six.

Above all, I dread having someone ask me when my birthday is. Immediately following this inquiry I fall silent. I sit wondering if this is going to be the predestined moment when I succumb to the barrage of irrelevant comments and die inside.

Inevitably one of two responses is given upon receipt of my DOB. One, "That's so ironic, my second oldest nephew's birthday is three days before yours." Or two, "Oh a Gemini. Figures." I can extract not one iota of useful information from either of these remarks. If it's small talk you're looking for, maybe you should give your second oldest nephew a ring and nag him for a while. And as for using the alignment of stars to make assumptions about my personality, save it for someone who finds inspiration in fortune cookies.